Getting Stuck

 My alarm clock went off at 6:00 in the morning and I woke up, got out of bed and got ready for school, had breakfast and brushed my teeth.

I told my mum that I was ready for school and she said ok wait the car I just need to have a shower then we are out the door.

When we were on the motorway there was traffic. There were cars beeping their horns and everywhere I looked blue, yellow, green cars and my mum's face went pitch red. She was grinding her teeth.

When we arrived at school the bullies were waiting for me so they could pick on me.

I said goodbye to my mum and kissed her on the forehead.

When I walked in the door to enter into school the bullies followed me behind my back.

When I shut the door the bullies were right there waiting for me.

Someone yanked me from my hair and dumped me into the trash and they dumped me into the trash.

 They started to laugh at me and called me a loser.

When two minutes passed my english teacher came and saw me hanging upside down in the trash so she helped me get out of the trash and she gave me a chocolate cookie.

Comments

  1. Philiprip16 August 2021 at 03:07

    I enjoyed this story, Caine. Good use of commas when you are writing a list, like in sentence one. Some good detail is included, like how you got ready for school, and mum's frustration in the car trip in. However, a place needing a lot more detail is the part of you getting stuck. How did the bullies put you in the trash? Why couldn't you get out?
    You have a good beginning and middle. I just feel like your ending doesn't feel like a real ending. Maybe you needed another sentence describing how you felt- embarrassed? sore? scared?

    ReplyDelete

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